So, I know what you're thinking, "More Rome?" Yes indeed, more Rome. Now you are probably wondering, "But why, Alicia, considering you are behind on you blog by three months?" To which I respond, logic rules exactly none of my life. So onwards!
In the following days, I did a lot of other sightseeing, like visiting the Pantheon, the Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain, all the stuff that people tell you that you have to do or they won't believe you have been to Rome. Two of the major sites that everyone goes to see when going to Rome are the Roman Forum and Palatine Hill. To concisely summarize them, they have a lot of neat old stuff. This is like the Oscars, gotta make up time somewhere. What I will talk about a little is the Colosseum. This is another one that I probably don't have to explain, but I just wanted to quickly mention it because of a fact I learned from the audioguide. Each time there was an event at the Colosseum, the event had to be more grand than the last one, like the Olympics, even though we all know nothing will ever beat China's opening ceremonies. The coolest one was inspired by a whale carcass that washed ashore nearby. For the event, they engineered a way to have a life-size whale replica rise up from the floor, unhinge its mouth, and from the depths, have 50 live bears pour out into the arena! And to think that people get excited about who is performing at the Super Bowl.
Y'all know this guy.
Picture 50 bears running around here.
I've never been one to prefer spending my free time in cemeteries or fancy wearing exclusively black clothing or enjoy sacrificing animals to appease Satan, because creepy stuff isn't really my bag. I'm much more into warm book nooks and watching videos of otters holding hands, but I decided to push myself and go to the Crypt of the Capuchins. Thanks to this wonderful idea I will now have very specific nightmares for life. I bought my ticket and headed inside. At first, you go through a nice museum that talks about the Capuchin order of monks. Without going too much into their history, which I found quite interesting, you should just know that they were a pretty hardcore group of monks, not like those monks you see nowadays clubbing and whatnot. The second part is what the morbidly-inclined come to see. Essentially, the bones of the Capuchin monks were dug up in order to be arranged in a series of chapels in different patterns and themes. One room might use only bones from legs, so it is conveniently titled the "Crypt of Leg Bones and Thigh Bones." Another uses only pelvises, another only skulls. The whole thing kind of freaked me out before I even went in, so actually going in was disturbing for me. They turned the horror up to an 11 with a small plaque in the first room. As if walking into a room lit by kneecap and jaw-bone chandeliers and depicting the resurrection of Christ with actual human skeletons wasn't terrifying enough, reading "What you are, we once were. What we are, you someday will be" will make you pee your damn pants. How dare they force me to confront my mortality! Needless to say, I was not entirely comfortable there, so I tried to hold my breath and hurry through the various rooms. I cooled off my fear-based sweat with a gelato, the solution to all of life's problems.
Tip #5: If you want to see the Colosseum, buy your ticket at Palatine Hill or the Roman Forum. These are included in the ticket, but have shorter lines. When you're ready to see the Colosseum, you can bypass the line and leave those people in the dust like a bunch of schmucks.
Tip #6: One entree. Trust me.
In the following days, I did a lot of other sightseeing, like visiting the Pantheon, the Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain, all the stuff that people tell you that you have to do or they won't believe you have been to Rome. Two of the major sites that everyone goes to see when going to Rome are the Roman Forum and Palatine Hill. To concisely summarize them, they have a lot of neat old stuff. This is like the Oscars, gotta make up time somewhere. What I will talk about a little is the Colosseum. This is another one that I probably don't have to explain, but I just wanted to quickly mention it because of a fact I learned from the audioguide. Each time there was an event at the Colosseum, the event had to be more grand than the last one, like the Olympics, even though we all know nothing will ever beat China's opening ceremonies. The coolest one was inspired by a whale carcass that washed ashore nearby. For the event, they engineered a way to have a life-size whale replica rise up from the floor, unhinge its mouth, and from the depths, have 50 live bears pour out into the arena! And to think that people get excited about who is performing at the Super Bowl.
This nightmare fuel was brought to you by theculturemap.com. Taking pictures there is not allowed. Probably because they are worried a ghost will appear in one of them.
Watching this video will cleanse your soul.
Let's not end this post on a cruel reminder of death though, and instead let's talk about the food I ate. I decided that after many days of eating nothing but pizza slices, albeit delicious pizza slices, it was about time I go out and get a proper Italian meal. Not wanting to majorly insult anyone, I tried to read up beforehand to figure out if there were any cultural items I should know about for a sit-down restaurant. One of the pieces mentioned that it was impolite not to get multiple dishes. Trying to note this in my Dory-like brain for future use, I picked a restaurant that many reviewers claim had the best spaghetti carbonara in the area. Sign me up! The restaurant was called Osteria der Belli. It basically has belly in the name, how can it not be good? I got there much too early for the dinner crowd (shout out to early bird specials!), so I was the only person in the restaurant. I'm going to tell you about an issue I have developed since arriving in Europe. The heart of the problem occurs when I walk in the door. The person working hears the door open, and spins around eagerly to hopefully address a wealthy Danish couple who is ready to drop some big bucks on multiple bottles of expensive wine. Instead they see me clamber across the threshold, a shabbily-dressed backpacker, and their faces immediately drop. I haven't seen such regular disappointment since watching people realize Sbarro is their only choice at a truck stop. Naturally, they assume I'll get the cheapest pasta on the menu and a glass of tap water. In all honesty, this is exactly what I would do if they didn't look so crestfallen. Instead, a switch goes off in my brain that sends me into The 1% mode. I'm not sure what inspires this exactly, probably a mix of anger over being thought of as cheap, wanting to prove their stereotypes wrong so that other young people will get the benefit of the doubt and good service, and general guilt. All of a sudden I'm ordering a drink, an appetizer, an entree, a dessert, an after-dinner cigar, paying off their mortgage, sending their kid to college, etc. On this night it was a couple glasses of wine and, for some baffling reason that I have not yet figured out, two entrees. WHY?!? Of course, I got the spaghetti carbonara, which was pretty much a religous experience, and then I also got a whole platter of mixed seafood. The seafood was also a religious experience in that I was praying I wouldn't throw everything up. Not because it wasn't all delicious, but because I am a moron. The restaurant was only a couple blocks away from my hostel, but I swear that those few streets were the equivalent of completing an Iron Man. It involved copious amounts of mouth breathing, serious food sweats, and one instance of stopping completely to bend over with my hands on my knees to catch my breath. Sadly, this was not the last time I was in this state due to my perceptions of my waiter's thoughts.Tip #5: If you want to see the Colosseum, buy your ticket at Palatine Hill or the Roman Forum. These are included in the ticket, but have shorter lines. When you're ready to see the Colosseum, you can bypass the line and leave those people in the dust like a bunch of schmucks.
The Numbers
Pizza slices eaten: 14
Top bunk placements: 1
Dogs petted: 2
Photos taken: 163 out of 248
Number of times I had the thought "Oh my God, I'm going to ralph": 24
Dogs petted: 2
Photos taken: 163 out of 248
Number of times I had the thought "Oh my God, I'm going to ralph": 24
